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Who am I?

journal reflections Sep 04, 2024

Dreaming, dreaming, sleeping, awakening—
Rhythms of darkness and light.
Day and night, night and day, wondering…
Who am I? Who AM I?
Who is morphing through this
Ever-shifting flow?

Beloved, wake up!
Dance in your true body before time,
Shimmering energy without end.

From The Radiance Sutras by Lorin Roche, PhD


In those moments between waking and sleeping, I often wonder about who I am and where I belong. So many thoughts cross my mind. Am I doing what I should be doing? Did I do the right thing? Am I getting it right? Is this in line with who I am? Am I really where I should be? I often get the feeling of being in the wrong place. I question myself. Often it’s tortuous and leads nowhere, but these thoughts are reflections of myself. My current state. The progress I have made, and the paths I’ve not yet been able to forge. It feels circular, repetitive, endless, but it is a spiral leading me onwards.

It feels like these questions and thoughts are who I am. Part of who I am and who I’ve always been. But that is not true. We change. Slowly. Daily. Without noticing. We are ever evolving, on a path to becoming who we are meant to be. Every morning is a rebirth. A new day. A new opportunity to shift our mind. To capture and find something that is waiting for us. A chance. 

We re-enter our bodies in the morning after dreams, reawakening the silenced state of our conscious mind. We open our eyes, wiggle our toes, stretch, and hear the sounds surrounding us. What magic this life is. The energy flowing through our bodies. Calm, invigorated, anxious, peaceful. Whatever it might be, we are alive. Hurtling through the universe.

If we so choose, the question of who we are will follow us forever as we can only ever answer it for one moment. And so we ask anew, who am I?

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